Over at Chatting at the Sky bloggers were welcomed to write a letter to their teenage self. The premise is that there is a younger generation out there floundering as we all once did, and now that we are older and hopefully a bit more wise, to share some of our findings on life.
I admit that this is a hard one for me. I tried to ignore it and not join the group, but it kept nagging at me so here I am. My problem with writing a letter to my teenage self is the crazy feeling that it could somehow alter where I am today. I know that isn't possible, and sadly if I could change things about my life now, the list is long and already penned in ink inside my head.
Where I stumble with this exercise most though, is with the feelings that for some reason God has me where I am today, and I am here because of the flounderings of my youth. I do want changes in my life, but what if my daily struggles and regrets are still part of God's plan for greatness? If my teenage self did read this letter and changed the course of her (my) life, would it still be the plan that God had for me? Maybe I should just add that to the letter...
|College ID photo, myself at 17 years old|
Yes, this is a crazy letter, but believe me - it's from yourself and written in 2012. You're turning thirty-five this year and I have some things to tell you. First, quit looking for love in all the wrong places - look to God, he will give you the stability you need. Seriously, you're boy crazy. Stop it.
Begin reading your Bible, starting with the New Testament. Read one chapter at a time and really soak it in. Then open your eyes to the people around you who say they are Christian examples - compare what they do to the Bible. Do they match up? Probably not. Follow what the Bible says, not what people say.
Pray for God's guidance in your life, and that he will open the correct doors. You are letting other people choose the rest of your life for you and that's not right. Ask God for guidance, decide what you want to do with your life, and ask for a way to be opened that you might do it. Don't let someone tell you which college to attend because it has pretty trees and cheaper tuition - they're not paying for your education. You paid for your own college so you should decide where you go and what your major is, and if you decide to change majors that is your decision. (Think about taking journalism or writing because you enjoy it later in life.)
And that super vivid dream that you had concerning the lack of the boy in the locket? Take heed. You still remember that dream like it was tomorrow and it did indeed come true. Sad, and freakish, I know, but I still believe that God does talk through dreams. Take it to heart. Neither of those boys are for you long-term. Just trust me on that.
Funny enough, several boys will ask you to marry them. Don't marry the one that just looks good on paper - date a long time so you can find the hidden things. Ask God to find you the right boy to marry and to make it clear that he is the one. As for children, you love them and want more. Have at least two in your mid-twenties. Make sure your future husband has a definite desire for children. It wasn't a big deal back then, but it is now.
Keep up with your exercising, but buy good athletic shoes and take it easy on your knees. They really hurt way too often at this age. And turn down that music! Your ears will thank you later. Get yourself a miniature poodle, you'll love her.
Most of all, find your strength and sense of worth in God and God alone. People will fail you all your life, but He is always there and never failing.
Your old self.
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